It's not my normal to post one day after another, but here it goes.
When I went out to get my newspaper at 4:45 AM today, (yup, still an early riser) I saw the moon in it's glory. As I look outside at 4:00 PM I see rain dripping off the roof.
So where does this put me, or us in the world of struggle. Be it corona virus or major surgeries it doesn't matter.
I remember when I was a young man (ancient history :-) ) sitting on a bluff waiting for an unlucky deer to wander by and put himself into my gun sights. I saw birds flying, and squirrels running around. This was during the Viet Nam war. I remembered how in spite of the mess we were in, God took care of what he created. The birds still flew, and the squirrels still scampered. I'll never forget that.
The reason I reflected on that time, is that I realize that no matter what I, or the world faces right now, look at the birds, listen to them sing, watch them build their nests, watch the squirrels scamper. There is a book written by Mac Lucado titled you'll get through this.
I realize that my journey is mapped by the Driver, not by what I expected from my "trip". He is in charge!
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
Bus wreck!
I'd done all the planning. Research, consultations with doctors, listening to everyone with an opinion. I chose UNM hospital 60 miles away, good doctor, good hospital.
When a person plans a trip, it instead can turn out to be a journey. Best laid plans can change (sometimes in a big way).
A few months back I posted about learning about my prostate cancer. I wasn't scared (although surprised). I chose removal of the prostate as my path of cure. I had confidence in my doctor, and Pam was at my side. Going into the hospital, I knew that there would be discomfort, but I was sure recovery would be okay.
BUS WRECK! The first week after surgery, I was progressing well, and felt that all was going to be okay. 8 days later I started a fever. Called the doctor, and he said I needed to get to the emergency room. We got there around 8:00 PM. Within hours, my condition worsened. My doctor was alerted, and ordered a CAT scan. With the look in his eyes, I knew all was not good. "We've got a problem" he said. A second surgery in less than 10 days. Colostomy and second catheter. A week in the hospital, and another surgery.
Things were not good. Much pain and anxiety. What started out to be a straight forward albeit major surgery, turned out to put me into a potential 2 years or more of healing and recovery. I was knocked down hard, physically, emotionally, and somewhat spiritually. That's when I had to dig in and listen to the Driver. "This isn't a wreck, its just a detour. You have to trust me" He said. It didn't feel like that, but I trusted Him and all the support of the people around me,
Pam stayed by my side the whole time. She and her sisters got a hotel room. My daughter Linda flew in unexpectedly from New York to spend a week at the hospital with us. Love and support poured in.
It's been 10 weeks. I'm feeling stronger. I'm driving, and becoming a little more independent. I'm learning to manage my new "buddies" colostomy and catheters. Daily mass via television has been a Godsend (I get to share Mass with the Driver).
When faced with major challenges, I've learned to trust my Driver, and accept the path I'm on.
I wish I could name all the people that have helped me either physically or spiritually or emotionally. If you are reading this, please know who you are. If you are one of my followers, I ask for your prayers, not only for me, but for all who are suffering. Also pray for the world. It is struggling too.
I have mentioned before, if you wish to comment, please direct them to ortiz.tom103@gmail.com
This blog doesn't seem to get any comments to me. Blessing to all.
When a person plans a trip, it instead can turn out to be a journey. Best laid plans can change (sometimes in a big way).
A few months back I posted about learning about my prostate cancer. I wasn't scared (although surprised). I chose removal of the prostate as my path of cure. I had confidence in my doctor, and Pam was at my side. Going into the hospital, I knew that there would be discomfort, but I was sure recovery would be okay.
BUS WRECK! The first week after surgery, I was progressing well, and felt that all was going to be okay. 8 days later I started a fever. Called the doctor, and he said I needed to get to the emergency room. We got there around 8:00 PM. Within hours, my condition worsened. My doctor was alerted, and ordered a CAT scan. With the look in his eyes, I knew all was not good. "We've got a problem" he said. A second surgery in less than 10 days. Colostomy and second catheter. A week in the hospital, and another surgery.
Things were not good. Much pain and anxiety. What started out to be a straight forward albeit major surgery, turned out to put me into a potential 2 years or more of healing and recovery. I was knocked down hard, physically, emotionally, and somewhat spiritually. That's when I had to dig in and listen to the Driver. "This isn't a wreck, its just a detour. You have to trust me" He said. It didn't feel like that, but I trusted Him and all the support of the people around me,
Pam stayed by my side the whole time. She and her sisters got a hotel room. My daughter Linda flew in unexpectedly from New York to spend a week at the hospital with us. Love and support poured in.
It's been 10 weeks. I'm feeling stronger. I'm driving, and becoming a little more independent. I'm learning to manage my new "buddies" colostomy and catheters. Daily mass via television has been a Godsend (I get to share Mass with the Driver).
When faced with major challenges, I've learned to trust my Driver, and accept the path I'm on.
I wish I could name all the people that have helped me either physically or spiritually or emotionally. If you are reading this, please know who you are. If you are one of my followers, I ask for your prayers, not only for me, but for all who are suffering. Also pray for the world. It is struggling too.
I have mentioned before, if you wish to comment, please direct them to ortiz.tom103@gmail.com
This blog doesn't seem to get any comments to me. Blessing to all.
Sunday, November 24, 2019
49 years and counting
Happy Anniversary Honey,
Can't even begin to explain the best times of 49 years of marriage. My honey has been with me above and beyond our vows. I am so lucky that she has accepted me for all my weakness and failures.
Getting stuck in a snowstorm on our honeymoon might have been an omen of success or failure. In fact it was a sign if success. At such an early age that we were, I had no fear, and Pam trusted me completely. She still does today.
We are so blessed to be where we are today.
For those who read this blog, thank you for following. To our children, we love you, and are proud of you.
We are grateful for all the blessings that we have received. To our friends and family, we cherish you all. Not enough words to say thank you Lord, family, friends. Amen
Can't even begin to explain the best times of 49 years of marriage. My honey has been with me above and beyond our vows. I am so lucky that she has accepted me for all my weakness and failures.
Getting stuck in a snowstorm on our honeymoon might have been an omen of success or failure. In fact it was a sign if success. At such an early age that we were, I had no fear, and Pam trusted me completely. She still does today.
We are so blessed to be where we are today.
For those who read this blog, thank you for following. To our children, we love you, and are proud of you.
We are grateful for all the blessings that we have received. To our friends and family, we cherish you all. Not enough words to say thank you Lord, family, friends. Amen
Friday, August 16, 2019
Didn't expect this Bus Stop
When I first envisioned God's Yellow Bus, I was at a cross road needing to decide whether I was going to follow my own free spirit, or rely and accept God's guidance and helping hand.
Wallah! The Yellow Bus appeared, and I've trusted the journey. I am grateful that I made that decision, and my life had been blessed because of that decision.
This most recent Bus Stop really took me by surprise, and made me evaluate so many things again. Ultimately, I will trust the Driver, and go where I am led.
I have been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Huh? Me? Why?
Turns out, that our bodies are as vulnerable to breakdown as our soul. The good news is that the soul, to the best of my understanding and belief is that my soul can be cured forever, if I choose to accept the Driver. The body, eventually, not so much. The body is organic, and it will eventually cease to exist.
The last few weeks have been an emotional whirlpool. What do I know? What do I do? What can I expect? So I'm on this new journey ready to prepare myself for the tools I am given to take care of the problem as best as is available. I'm okay with that. So far, I've been led to some good doctors. I am assured (as best as they can assure) that my situation is early and very treatable. I don't look forward to the various options for treatment, but hey, "gotta fix the problem".
I will go forward trusting in my earthly help, (the doctors), and the Driver.
Wallah! The Yellow Bus appeared, and I've trusted the journey. I am grateful that I made that decision, and my life had been blessed because of that decision.
This most recent Bus Stop really took me by surprise, and made me evaluate so many things again. Ultimately, I will trust the Driver, and go where I am led.
I have been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Huh? Me? Why?
Turns out, that our bodies are as vulnerable to breakdown as our soul. The good news is that the soul, to the best of my understanding and belief is that my soul can be cured forever, if I choose to accept the Driver. The body, eventually, not so much. The body is organic, and it will eventually cease to exist.
The last few weeks have been an emotional whirlpool. What do I know? What do I do? What can I expect? So I'm on this new journey ready to prepare myself for the tools I am given to take care of the problem as best as is available. I'm okay with that. So far, I've been led to some good doctors. I am assured (as best as they can assure) that my situation is early and very treatable. I don't look forward to the various options for treatment, but hey, "gotta fix the problem".
I will go forward trusting in my earthly help, (the doctors), and the Driver.
Friday, September 7, 2018
The Driver is in charge
Sometimes on my journey in life, I struggle with my Driver of the Yellow Bus. I am the passenger, but want to think I am the navigator also. WRONG! It turns out that I turned over my journey to the Driver.
In the last few months, I have been picked up from past assignments, dropped off at other stops. At those times, I struggle to understand why. The assignments I have been given by the Driver have been fulfilling, and I believe important. So why pull me away from them? At the same time, the new destinations (as best as I can understand them) are important, and the Driver will give me the tools to accomplish the job.
Am I taking the easy way out and saying "don't blame me, the Driver made me do it 😲". Or do I trust the Driver to know what my journey should look like, and take the assignment with trust and conviction?
I worry that some people may not understand why I am pulling away, but I have to trust that the Driver knows what is necessary.
A million thoughts go through my mind during this process, but I won't clutter this blog with them. Suffice to say that what ever happens, my Driver is also the navigator and the CEO.
In the last few months, I have been picked up from past assignments, dropped off at other stops. At those times, I struggle to understand why. The assignments I have been given by the Driver have been fulfilling, and I believe important. So why pull me away from them? At the same time, the new destinations (as best as I can understand them) are important, and the Driver will give me the tools to accomplish the job.
Am I taking the easy way out and saying "don't blame me, the Driver made me do it 😲". Or do I trust the Driver to know what my journey should look like, and take the assignment with trust and conviction?
I worry that some people may not understand why I am pulling away, but I have to trust that the Driver knows what is necessary.
A million thoughts go through my mind during this process, but I won't clutter this blog with them. Suffice to say that what ever happens, my Driver is also the navigator and the CEO.
Tuesday, July 10, 2018
Jasper
How many times is it said 'Why do we wait until a funeral to see everyone?'
Well, we didn't wait. Our granddaughter graduated from high school in June, and we went to NY to spend time with the family up there. Proud grandparents, proud parents, proud graduate !!! How awesome is that?
Jasper is a full size black Labrador retriever. In his better days, he would wait just for the right moment to spring free and send everyone chasing him up and down the street. Sometimes he would make a clean break, and disappear, only to be caught by animal control, and be kept until he was bailed out. Fireworks freaked him out, and during 4th of July week, he could be found taking refuge in the shower stall. Only place he would feel safe. Jasper hated to watch people talking on the phone He would howl and make a ruckus until he was put outside in order to carry on a phone conversation (watch out for the runaway dog!).
He watched three youngsters growing up, and always made sure they and the rest of the house was safe.
Now, Jasper struggles to get up off the floor to go outside a couple of times a day. Struggle or not, he still takes care of business outside. Watching him during our visit was a time to watch and ponder life cycle. We probably won't see him again, as our trips back east are at best annual.
Graduation brought family together from up and down the east coast. Many hadn't seen each other for a year or more. Everyone had a fantastic time. Jasper was so caught up in the festivities that he was up and around with everyone for hours on end. It really lit a fire under him. The following days he was exhausted, but I could tell that he had been as happy as we were to see and be part of the festivities.
I heard a song the other day. Don't know who the artist is, so I hope they will forgive any copyright infringement. A few word caught my ear. -- "so many shadows dancing under our feet". Ain't it so. Our shadows in life are real, but only to our eyes. Watching Jasper last month made me look at the Alpha and the Omega. Watch the shadows, cherish them, and accept them for what they are.
(You decide in your own mind what this might mean). Blessings to all. Blessings to Jasper
Well, we didn't wait. Our granddaughter graduated from high school in June, and we went to NY to spend time with the family up there. Proud grandparents, proud parents, proud graduate !!! How awesome is that?
Jasper is a full size black Labrador retriever. In his better days, he would wait just for the right moment to spring free and send everyone chasing him up and down the street. Sometimes he would make a clean break, and disappear, only to be caught by animal control, and be kept until he was bailed out. Fireworks freaked him out, and during 4th of July week, he could be found taking refuge in the shower stall. Only place he would feel safe. Jasper hated to watch people talking on the phone He would howl and make a ruckus until he was put outside in order to carry on a phone conversation (watch out for the runaway dog!).
He watched three youngsters growing up, and always made sure they and the rest of the house was safe.
Now, Jasper struggles to get up off the floor to go outside a couple of times a day. Struggle or not, he still takes care of business outside. Watching him during our visit was a time to watch and ponder life cycle. We probably won't see him again, as our trips back east are at best annual.
Graduation brought family together from up and down the east coast. Many hadn't seen each other for a year or more. Everyone had a fantastic time. Jasper was so caught up in the festivities that he was up and around with everyone for hours on end. It really lit a fire under him. The following days he was exhausted, but I could tell that he had been as happy as we were to see and be part of the festivities.
I heard a song the other day. Don't know who the artist is, so I hope they will forgive any copyright infringement. A few word caught my ear. -- "so many shadows dancing under our feet". Ain't it so. Our shadows in life are real, but only to our eyes. Watching Jasper last month made me look at the Alpha and the Omega. Watch the shadows, cherish them, and accept them for what they are.
(You decide in your own mind what this might mean). Blessings to all. Blessings to Jasper
Sunday, April 1, 2018
HAPPY EASTER
HE IS RISEN, HE IS RISEN INDEED !!!!
What an awesome blessing to wake up this morning! There will always be someone richer than me, and someone poorer than me. All I know is that I am as rich as God wants me to be, and I am good with that.
Last night was so overwhelmingly amazing. I have been involved with RCIA (Rites of Christian Initiation) for several years. As such, I have witnessed and participated with many people seeking a deeper connection with God. During this time, I have grown and learned more, not only about my faith and self, but also much from those in the classroom. Easter celebration is always an experience to be in awe of. I always come away from Easter Vigil inspired and blessed.
We only had five participants in the RCIA process this year. As such, we got to know each other maybe a little better than in previous years. Watching our seekers receive the sacraments for the first time, and watching them experience spiritual joy was, and is an experience that is hard to describe.
As I said, I have learned as much from them as they from the classroom. Knowing that I can never know enough is motivation in itself. Hearing heartfelt insights of newcomers and peers can be eye openers for me. We can never truly know what is in the hearts of any individual, but to hear what is in their hearts is to experience their experience.
Deciding to sit down and write my thoughts today, I had so many things I wanted to relate, but now I know that I can re live last night, today and every day, and that's good enough. (2 Corinthians 12:9 My Grace is good enough for you).
I pray today for everyone reading this, and for all of God's people. Turns out, we are all God's people. Blessings to everyone, and thank you Lord for your selflessness.
ALLELUIA
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