Another Chapter another journey

Been a while since I've posted.  I've talked about the challenges of surgery recovery, associated pain and struggle.  Through that time, I've come face to face with emotional  physical  and self awareness.  Recently I found myself getting lost in these feelings.

I started spiraling and couldn't understand these new emotions and feelings.  I can say I didn't like it and was at a loss on how to deal with this foreign place in my life.  One morning I felt I had to find help.  I was blessed to find and work with an amazing and compassionate councilor.  It took about 4 months of sessions. Yesterday, we both agreed that I had made good progress, and we are taking a break.  My councilor told me that if at any time I needed to talk, I was assured I could make that connection.

So, what did I learn?  I had to come to grips with the fact that my future is different than pre surgery.  That meant letting go of everything I had been involved with.  Church, community service, travel and so many things that I identified with.  I guess I had lost my identity.  Even though friends would tell me that I had to find the "new me" (I really dis like that adage).  First I had to let go of my old self.  Not easy for me to consider much less do.  Next, I had to realize that my physical abilities have changed.  I also had to adapt to limitations as a function of surgeries and inactivity, 

With my counselor, I have started a new journey and chapter in my life.  I realize I need to make use of what I CAN DO, and not what I cannot do.  I also know that the past difficulties can still come back to haunt me, I have new tools to deal with that when they happen.

I want to thank my counselor, and God for helping me through this struggle. I always had God helping me, but I found out that He puts people in place to help with his work.  Both me and my counselor agreed that it was Devine intervention that we got together.  (Maybe another post on why I say this). Needless to say I have been greatly helped through this.  Without getting preachy, I can say on my part, I am glad I sought help, even though in the past I discredited seeking counselling as a  sign of weakness.

Making changes in my attitude about myself is both exciting and scary and challenging. 

I feel good right now, and look forward to the future instead of dwelling on what was.  Thank you all that have journeyed with me the last couple of years.  Too many to mention, but hear felt thanks.