Hey Bus Driver, why did you take me here?

(readers please note: this blog is not very good at forwarding replies.  If you wish to reply, please direct them to ortiz.tom103@gmail.com)

I never expected where the Driver took me in the last two years.  I can tell you that physically, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in June 2019.  After the diagnosis, everything changed in my life.  Multiple surgeries, complications, dozens of trips to Albuquerque. Countless days of physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional journeying.

While each surgery seemed to be the end of the story, sometimes weeks, sometimes days after each procedure, things would go south.  Another several weeks, sometimes months before "fix it" procedures were scheduled and planned.  A test of patience, endurance, trust, pain, anxiety.  Almost every emotion and challenge came my way.  

I am happy to say, all seems to be working and I don't anticipate any further treatment.

That being said, there are still challenges ahead.  I lost quite a bit of weight, so diet and exercise begin my new journey.  After effects of the surgeries have left me with other challenges.  Along the way, the Driver challenged me to accept each new phase, and grow stronger in faith.  Also contemplating the value of life, love, and acceptance.  Today, my goal is to cherish what I have, and learn from I could have easily called the last two years a waste of time, an unnecessary struggle. By the grace of God, I chose to seek a different path.  Some of the gifts of the Holy Spirit were necessary for me to endure.

1. Understanding.  Not that I fully understand why this happened, but I know I have grown through this experience.

2. Council.  I heard from, and reached out to so many people during this time, and genuine concern, council carried me through each struggle.

3.  Fortitude.  This experience has helped me endure, and have strengthened my resolve to face all challenges with total faith.

4. Knowledge.  I researched ad nauseum to learn about my condition.  In addition, I searched for the knowledge (see 1, 2,and 3) above.

5. Piety.  Boy did my prayer life change and increase.  I realize now that prayer need not be reserved only for the times of need, but has been part of my life in gratitude for having endured this journey, and helped me focus on what is important.

I had an army of people praying for me. The need  of  the hands of the professional medial personnel are essential, but in my experience, so is prayer   I feel blessed that the support team, starting with my amazing wife Pam.  Along with that, the doctors, hospital, staff, and everyone that worked with me (and on me and in me 😌 in spite of my struggles, they made my journey many times easier.  

Thank you God (the Bus Driver) for sheltering me on the bus and as I await the nest stop I will accept whatever you ask of me.  My life has changed, and in several ways, so have I.  Mostly, I understand better than ever, how precious life, family, and friends are.  Most importantly, I am grateful for my stronger relationship to God.   

 The day that Coco died:

I NEVER pick up stray animals.  One afternoon on my way back from the golf course, I saw this precious little girl on the side of the two lane highway.  She was scared, and it had just finished raining. I knew that she would not last long on that road.  I pulled over and put her in my passenger seat.  She had no idea who I was and I did not yet know who she was.  I brought her home.  That was almost 10 years ago.   She loved people, but we never had puppy dates so she did not interact well with other dogs.  We had, and still have Snickers, our smaller male mutt.  The quickly became buddies, and were inseparable.  

A few weeks ago, we noticed that Coco was loosing weight.  We started treating her for worms,  She showed no signs of distress, but was consuming lots of water.  Long story short, she jumped into the back seat of our son David's car, and went for a ride.  When David got home and checked on her in the back seat, she was lifeless.  She never gave us any heads up that she was needing more help than we were giving her.  I can only second guess if she could have gotten healthier if we had taken her to the vet.   She was loved, given a good home, and will be greatly missed.

I am now physically healing well after several surgeries,  and hope to become more active in a couple of months.  I was looking forward to taking her for walks, something I couldn't do because of my surgeries.  I am so sad!   I have some good pictures of her, and I have many memories of her being close to me.  I loved her.