Winter is coming

A new day. I woke up to a dusting of snow on the street. Quiet time of year. Time to slow down (especially when driving, LOL). A friend (you know who you are ;-))sent me a meditation yesterday, and I didn't open it till this morning. I am finding that I'm not in such a hurry to open every email and text immediately. "I have a flat tire and need help now" type of email I will look at right now, but other stuff, not so much. Not that they aren't important, but I think I've reacted to NOW stuff for so long, that I'm trying to take care of what needs immediate attention, and savor the other stuff more. Turns out that after thinking about things, there is more "other stuff" that is just as important as "emergency", but also important to pay attention to. I've been enjoying the "Indian summer" weather lately, and playing plenty of golf. Sort of not looking forward to cold and snow, until I saw it this morning. A reminder to self. Snow, cold, and winter are "other stuff" that needs accepting and enjoying for it's own merits. Thankfully, I CAN enjoy. When I go by the homeless shelter, I realize that my perspective is different than the clients at the shelter. I can enjoy nature as God gives. Not everyone can and does. Then again, how do I know what is going on in their minds. For now, I will do what I can to help those who need, and praise God for his blessings every day. As we go into the holy season, and new year, I pray that everyone is safe and healthy. As Father Earl says "Peace to the whole place)

A new day!

I woke up ready to pray today.  Does that make me any better than anyone? No, just lucky first of all that I woke up, ;-).  Secondly, that I am able to pray, and know that there is a purpose for prayer.  Being in touch with and surrounded by people who pray, and being gifted by my Yellow Bus Driver, I am here today to celebrate my 67th birthday.  Not looking or asking for lauds, just aware that God has blessed me in so many ways.  Thank you God.

I started my day - OOPS, Pam just waked in.  Talk about a blessing!  What a gift!  Another of many reasons to be grateful for today.  Anyway, I started my day ready to pray, and as sometimes happens, my mind wandered off of the "prayers" I was going to read and recite.  I started thinking about a subject we were supposed to present to the high school catechism class tomorrow.  The four marks of the Church.  One, Holy, Catholic Apostolic.  How does one present in a meaningful way the idea of Holy? Music is one way, so I searched "Holy" on YouTube.  Lots of songs.  I listened to a couple, and as YouTube works, I was threaded to "Be not afraid".  If you are reading this, even if you have heard the song, take a minute to listen to it. Years ago, my youngest son was sent into Iraq, (first of three deployments).  In one of my correspondents I wrote the lyrics of the song to him.  In his situation, it was amazingly appropriate.  As I go through life, I know that the words are also amazingly appropriate for me to consider every day of my life. 

We worked at the "shelter" last night, and I was talking to one of the "guests".  She was thanking me for volunteering and helping out.  As I talked to her, I realized that she and all of the homeless that we serve at the shelter are as much for my benefit as I am there for them.  Their burden of homelessness is my Yellow Bus Driver's assignment to do His work.  How bless I am to be here at this point in time to ride the Bus. Thank you God.

God's Special Children

Special Needs People.
I have the privilege to work with Special Olympics athletes. The fact that they participate in Special Olympics does not make them unique among special needs people.  There are many people in this demographic that do not participate for various reasons.  For me, getting to know and work with my special friends is a blessing that I receive more than I can return.

This past weekend, Farmington hosted the annual Four Corners Regional Special Olympics.  What an amazing event to experiences.  HUNDREDS of athletes from across the four corner region gathered to be among their peers to participate in a wide range of athletic events.  It is a sight to behold.  The participants range from highly functional disabled, to severely limited functionality.

My participation is to coach the swimming event.  Over the years, I have seen many of our team develop from having high anxiety of water to swimming independently.  I have also experienced the physical deterioration of functionality of some of our athletes.  Both experiences are extremely emotionally challenging.

It is incredible to see the desire and exhilaration of these awesome people as they participate in their chosen events.  Equally, it is inspiring and touching to see the pure innocence of children in fully (physically) grown adults.  The trust and love they return to us coaches and their care takers is something that is impossible to describe.  My Yellow Bus Driver dropped me off at the pool several years ago, and left me to participate with these Special People so that I may learn from them.

Continued

So I asked what lens do I look through?

What is absolute and true?  For sure, God is absolute and true.  Jesus is absolute and true.  The Word of God (scripture) is absolute and true.  The Eucharist is absolute and true. Some people say that these are only a crutch.  I say that they are my base and root.  Money, power, fame, talent, popularity, beauty etc. never last the test of time.

To say that death is absolute and true is not a statement of despair.  It is a fact.  What is despair, is to not have anything after death.

I can talk to people about these things and I can pray for people to believe these things.  Ultimately each person has to accept or reject these absolutes.  What I am grateful for at this point in my life is that I have come to grips with these and accept them.  They are my base, not my crutch.  Scripture tells us that a house built on a weak base will not last (Matt. 7:24-27)  Even though not eternal, we see evidence of ancient foundations, long after the building has deteriorated.  Same true with a sturdy tree.  Long after a tree dies and decays, roots remain.

I am most grateful that while I am still alive, and physically able to, I can receive the Body of Christ every day of my life in the Eucharist.  The Eucharist is the most amazing gift God gave us to bring us as close to Him as we possibly can while we have breath in our body.  While God will never force us to unite with Him, I believe He wishes that everyone will.

What lens do I look through?

News, movies, reality (my perception of it at least), internet, encounters with people. etc. etc. etc.   We are constantly being confronted with sometimes diametrically opposed viewpoints and images. What do we follow?  How do we know what is right and what isn't.  What is the kid that grows up in a family of addicts or thieves to understand?  What is a kid that is raised in a privileged environment supposed to think of the under privileged?   If someone has to collect food from a dumpster to eat, how does he/she feel okay about someone who says "have a nice day!"?
Today's gospel (Matthew 19:16-22) is the story of the young man that asks Jesus what he must do to enter into heaven. Jesus proceeds to recite the ten commandments.  The young man replies, "I already do that, what else must I do?"  Jesus tells him to give up his possessions and take care of the hungry and needy.  The young man goes away sad because he cannot give up his possessions.
I've often wondered about that.  Am I failing because I have possessions?  I'm hoping that what Jesus is saying is that I must not put my possessions in a position of greater importance than my love for God, or my fellow man.
I have been blessed to have what I need (and truly, more than I need).  Much of what I do in the ministries I serve are possible because of my possessions.  I am hoping if I direct my possessions given to me by the grace of God to things that benefit others, I will be following what Jesus was trying to tell the young man.
Truly there have been many Saints that have given up all worldly possessions, and dedicated their live to Prayer and service.  I guess I have to hope that my Yellow Bus Driver is taking me where He wants me to be.  Thankfully, He is patient, and forgiving.

Encounter with the homeless

I went by the shelter yesterday to talk to the assistant director about the upcoming season, and our schedule to serve.
Outside, I ran into one of the guests that is a regular.  She is someone I knew outside of the shelter before she became homeless.  She is a pretty woman, and if seen away from the shelter, one would not guess that she suffers from homelessness.  In talking to her, she told me she was returning after being refused admittance for a period of time due to violation of shelter rules. She lamented that she felt the shelter was not always the nicest place to stay.  I replied with empathy that although not perfect, it was much better than other alternatives.  She agreed.  I told her that those of us who volunteer there, cannot fully appreciate what their (the homeless) lives endure.  I assured her that in spite of that, we are there wholeheartedly doing what we can to make their stay as comfortable and welcoming as possible.
(It's the best that I can do, and I do it with the guidance of my creator).
Not wanting to sound like a broken record, experiences like this remind me how blessed and lucky I am to be where I am at this point in life.  

Procrastination

I promised to quit procrastinating yesterday !!  Yea, here I am today :~)
The blessings continue, and I pray that all enjoy the blessings I have received.  Realistically, I know that not everyone does.  Looking around in the world, we see so much difficulty.  With that perspective, I realize how good I have it.
I saw my old self the other day while I was sitting in traffic.  At a stop light, I saw cars inching forward ever so slightly while anticipating a green light.  Gotta hurry, gotta hurry, gotta go!  C'mon light, CHANGE!  No question, I have lived that life, and for the most part, I don't anymore.
I realize also, there are times when "getting there NOW is important.  An injured friend that has called for help.  A job interview that won't go well if arrival is late etc..  In the mean time, I realize that until that light changes, no worry, anxiety, impatience will make that inanimate light change any faster.  I'm only given so many minutes in this life.  I don't want to burn them with stress.
May we be blessed and aware as we go through today.

PS. Thank you my friend (you know who you are) for spurring my on to restart this blog, I love you.

I found it!!!
I had high expectations (of myself) for Lent.  I was going to pray more.  I was going to let go of struggle.  Not so much.  My prayer life was inconsistent.  I wanted to do better, but it wasn't happening.  Pam had talked often of the Scriptural Rosary.  I wasn't much of a Rosary prayer. Sporadic at best.  Then a couple of weeks ago when I was at church I looked at the "free books" that are left for anyone interested in picking one up.  I have made use of this on occasion when I see something that interests me.  Well, I saw an old copy of the Scriptural Rosary.  It is a small book and an old one. It is old enough as to not have a Luminous Mystery section.  I liked what it looked like, and decided to take it home.  The next morning I decided to pray The Glorious Mysteries using the book.  I really liked it, and  decided to pray a novena as Holy Week was coming up, and I felt a need to find a way to get going on a consistent prayer pattern.  All was going well, and I decided I was going to keep this little book long term.  I decided to make a leather cover for it.  First effort did not turn out the way I wanted, so as I kept using the book, I kept feeling that I wanted to  make another one.  I put the book away in what I thought was a safe place, and started on the new cover.  After finishing version two of the cover, I looked high and low, and I simply could not find it.  I continued with my daily prayer of the Rosary in order to complete the novena, but was baffled by where the book could have disappeared.   I had to resort to my cell phone to follow the Scriptural Rosary, my book was lost, and I was disappointed.
Tonight I started watching a program on TV with Max Lucado.  The program was called 'No wonder they call Him Savior',  Max quoted Romans Chapter six, so I decided to read the chapter.  Lo and behold, when I picked up my Bible, my little book was on top of it.  I found it!!!
I put the book in it's new cover, and it doesn't fit very well.  I need to re work it a little, but now I have my new little treasure.  I plan to use it to pray the Rosary every day.  I was never very good about praying the Rosary on a regular basis, but now I have something to motivate me.
I have to believe that since I kept praying in spite of loosing the book, and being called to read a chapter in the Bible, I was led to find it.  I know that I would have found it eventually when I would have picked up my Bible for casual reading, but the combination of events brought me back to my new little treasure, and has motivated me to a new commitment to prayer.  I am looking forward to Holy week with great joy and anticipation.  I pray the the whole world will find the Glory of our salvation this coming week.

I woke up with silence on my mind.
I live in silence by no choice of my own.  As luck (and God's grace) would have it, I can change that as necessary (with my hearing aids).  I lost most of my hearing during my work life.  Without my hearing aids, silence (mostly) surrounds me.  As I wake up early, the silence is wonderful.  I use this silent time to try to let God speak to me.  It is amazing how hard this can be, even with physical silence present.  Noise saturates both my external and internal world.
Lent is a time of silence if and when I let it.  During Mass, there are no bells, no alleluia.  "be still, and know that I am God."  How hard is that?  Harder than it seems.  But on occasion, when silence speaks, how awesome it is.
Some of my most intimate connections with God have come during silence.  I am grateful for these moments, and try to practice the  skill of listening during silence.
Silence in my life can also be a source of frustration.  For those around me, my inability to hear them, and for me, having to strain to understand.  Not hearing the beautiful sounds of nature, morning birds, children playing, my dogs snoring.  So I put on my hearing aids, and the sound world returns.
Can I use the audible world work for my in my relationship with God?  Yeah, I think so.  I can listen to people when they are telling me about things that are important in their life.  I can listen to the Word of God,  I can also use my hearing to distract me from doing things.  I am learning to filter what is helpful, and what is distraction.  Part of the long journey.💟

So where do I go from here?
I'm not sure what motivated me to start this blog.  So many things I hear and see  gets my mind to swirl.  The world is getting so complicated.  Maybe I'm just getting older and less flexible.  At the same time, I am working on how to balance everything I see and hear.  There are definitely more things I cannot change than those that I can.  As I hear people talk in every day conversation, I sense I am not alone in this.

I question whether this blog is for me or for what?  As a I thought about this, I remembered an occasion when I was asked whether I was a humble person!  There is no good answer to this question. One answer might be 'no, I'm not humble'.  I suppose that if that were true, then there would be no need for further discussion.  On the other hand if one was to say, 'yes, I'm humble', is that a statement of humility, or boasting about one's humility?

The reason I think about this is that I think I must make a disclaimer here.  Go back to my opening statement, I'm not sure what motivated me to start this blog.  I would like to think that my motivation is not driven by some need for everyone to convinced that anything I say is right or wrong for anyone except me, (and even then I have to evaluate whether it is right even for me).

I came across this recently in my high school catechism class from one of the students.  It knocked my socks off.  She said - (verbatim)
Prayer is like when God is not listening.  It is only a test.  The teacher is always silent during a test.

From the mouths of youth can come amazing insight.  A statement like that forces me to look inward and contemplate humility.  As I was praying this morning (Liturgy of the Hours) I focused on Psalm 51 which reminds me that It is only because God is merciful that I receive mercy.  This is one of many guidelines to help me contemplate humility.
Then in Isaiah 45: 15-25 I see that humility is necessary in order to receive God's grace, God by his omnipotence demands unconditional reverence.  A good parent is a good parent not because of pride, but because of necessity.  God does not require reverence out of pride, but out of love.
In the Psalm prayer for today I see that Jesus by contrast is the epitome of humility;  "Father, he who knew no sin  was made sin for us, to save us and restore us to your friendship".

Messages like these help me to work my way through all the muck and mire of the world around us.  I have come to believe that the more I trust in God, the more guidance I will receive.  I hope you all have a blessed day.

Good morning!  Welcome to my new blog.  I hope to share experiences that some of you may relate to.  My life has had many twists and turns, and where I am now, is a blessing.

A quick background on the blog title.

Several years ago, I came to a crossroad in deciding what I wanted to do with my spiritual life.  I faced a disappointment in my journey with my faith.  At that time I felt I had but two choices.  One was to turn away from God and only worry about my corporal life, and the other choice was to ask God "what do you want me to do"?

The answer came almost instantly.  I realized (thankfully) that walking away was not the answer, too easy.  At that point I envisioned getting on a yellow bus and going where it took me.  I envisioned God as the Driver, and the director of the journey.  Since then, I have gotten on the bus, and delivered to various tasks that the "Driver" directed me to.

Often when I stepped  off the bus, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do, or for how long I was supposed to stay at that stop.  Sometimes, the bus pulled up and the Driver said 'get on, your work is done here'.  Sometimes I didn't feel that my work was done, but I obeyed.  Sometimes before getting on the bus I had to pray about leaving that destination.  I have come to realize that the Driver knows best.

My journey on God's yellow bus is what I need to follow, and the journey has been rewarding, and challenging.  I know that if I trust the Driver, my assignment will be okay.

As this blog continues, I hope to pass on insights and experiences that you readers find helpful in your journey through life.  I pray for your fruitful and meaningful experiences.